We used to call him "Mr. 1980's." Who? Me and the other folks at my old job. "Mr. 1980's" was our boss and from head to toe, he emulated everything that was fashionable in the year 1980. (Bill Cosby sweaters and all.) The only problem with this was that it was 2003!

It's been a while since I've seen my old boss, but one thing is for sure - he isn't the only person in America trapped in a fashion time warp. This trap is a common one that many people fall into, which keeps them looking old and out of step. If you're in a similar trap, you are sporting clothes that make you look like a perfect candidate for the TV show "What NOT to Wear." So, it's time for a change. Check out the following statements and rethink your wardrobe if you say any of them on a regular basis.

"Purple is my favorite color."
Yes. Purple is your favorite color, which is why people call you "Barney" and "Grape Ape" behind your back. It's time to expand the colors in your closet and break up the monotony. Understand that every color in a rainbow is beautiful and it's okay to wear more than one of them on your back.

"I can't find anything to wear in the store."
Really? Today, there are stores that cater to every size, shape and budget. So, there really isn't any excuse for you to walk around looking like a mess. If you hate to shop, get online and buy your clothes. You can kill two birds with one stone. You can find the clothes you like to wear with just the push of a button and avoid the crowds in the mall at the same time.

"I'm still the same size I was in high school."
No you're not. You are two sizes bigger, and you know it. Be honest with yourself and buy larger clothes. Your clothes will hang better, and you will finally be able to get rid of the elastic lines across your stomach. Also, clothes that fit tend to make you look smaller - and we all know you're the kind of person who doesn't want to look fat.

Did you see yourself in any of these statements? If so, change your words and clothes and then step into a more fashionable future.

*One-size-fits-all clothing*? It's a concept that I have hated all of my life. I was always too tall -- too something -- to really take advantage of clothing with this kind of tag. So, I had to pay the extra money in order to get a similar item that fit. Yet, through the years, I have learned that sometimes one size actually does fit all.

For women, the idea of one size fitting all can be translated into clothing items or accessories that accentuate every gal's wardrobe. Regardless of your shape or size, they upgrade or increase our fashion clout. Below is a list of the top five. They are items you should consider adding to your wardrobe this year.

A New Headband
They are bejeweled, checkered, patterned, zigzagged and complement a variety of hairstyles and face shapes. You should add an array of headbands to your accessory drawer to help on those bad hair days.

A Classic Pair of Jeans
They can carry you through a variety of social situations. Match a cute tee and pair of sneakers with a pair of jeans for the big game or a pretty blouse and pair of heels for a date.

A Little Black Dress
You can dress it up with a scarf, necklace or pin. It can be your signature outfit for events or that stand in when you can't find the right outfit.

A Pair of Diamond Hoop Earrings
Whether you get a pair that's big or small, they add a bit of flare to an outfit. Don't sleep on this tip, especially if you have a tendency to look outdated.

A Pretty Pair of Sandals
Forget about buying another classic pump. Invest your money in a pretty pair of sandals. Matched them with a fresh manicure and pedicure to upgrade almost any look.

Purchase these five items and you will start your 2009 out right and in style.

In 2008, we discussed a lot of different figure flaws and how to address them fashionably. Yet, there was never really a true discussion about one person who displays himself or herself beautifully in public on a regular basis. So, in commemoration of the New Year, let's do it. Who is this person? America Ferrera!

For those of you who don't know, America Ferrera has become a national sensation because of her show "Ugly Betty." This TV show is all about a young lady who is muddling through the viscous fashion world. Her looks are odd, but her insides are beautiful. In real life, America is only partially like her character. Despite her non-traditional size (for Hollywood), she always shines.

Throughout Ferrera's acting career, her weight has gone up and down. However, unlike a lot of other actresses struggling to remain "Hollywood" slim, she has always managed to look good. Why? Ferrera knows how to dress her body.

Until recently, America Ferrera has fluctuated between a size 10 and 14. Although these sizes are normal for American women, they are big for Hollywood. As a result, she has embraced several things that accentuate a curvaceous body. What does she do? She keeps it simple and wears solid colors and classic cuts. This style of dress is both slimming and elegant. The other thing that Ferrera does is play up her positive attributes.

No matter what size Ferrera is, she always has a pretty neck, shoulder and breast line. As a result, you will see her wearing a lot of sleeveless dresses on the red carpet. Then, to add a little flavor to all of this, she wears bright colors. They bring out her vibrant skin tone.

So, basically, America Ferrera embodies the kind of style we all hope to achieve. Whether thin or voluptuous, she looks fabulous because she knows how to dress. Keep this in mind as you dress yourself in 2009. Find a signature style and stay with it through thick or thin.

We've all been there. You go to the store and see a t-shirt or blouse you like. It looks so good on from the front that you don't even turn around to see how it looks from the back. Then, later, after you've strutted all over town wearing it, you see your reflection from behind. Yikes! You've got back fat.

The ugly truth about back fat is that it can affect people of every sex and size. It's common to have a little extra cushion under your shoulder blades unless you are extremely thin. Yet, most of us don't see it unless we are standing naked in front of a mirror and checking ourselves out from every angle. So, how do you deal with it? You deal with back fat in these three ways.

Wear clothing that fits. This tip sounds funny because it's what we all should be trying to do. Yet, some of us still try to squeeze into our favorite jacket with the hopes of losing weight later. Or, we get a t-shirt a size too small because it is on sale. Try to avoid falling into these traps. If you see a stylish top and it's too tight in the back or doesn't hang quite right, put it back. It will surely show back fat, which will ruin your entire look.

Invest into quality undergarments. Bras, cotton t-shirts and body girdles all help pull in and minimize back fat. Make sure you get one that molds your body into a natural form and pulls in excess fat by a ½ inch. If you are not sure what garment to look for, get help from the store clerk.

Select tops made of sturdy material. Fabric that you can't see through is considered to be "sturdy." It won't fall apart at the seams or thin-out after a few washes. This kind of material is the least likely to show back fat and will help hold in those extra bulges.

If you pay attention to these three things, you should be able to hide your back fat. Also, you will appear sleeker. Of course, this look is one we all want to achieve in our clothes.

Some time ago, I blogged about an unfortunate condition that affects thousands of Americans called SND or Short Neck Disease. Celebrities like Melinda Doolittle and Danny DeVito suffer from it. However, there is another common condition that equally affects Americans. What is it? It is LND or Long Neck Disease. Just as with SND, you must apply special clothing rules to manage this condition.

If you have LND, you know it. You have the best eagle's view of the lower half of your body of anyone you know. Collarless clothing scares you. And nine times out of ten, you've been called a giraffe at least once as a child. Because of these things, it's obvious that your neck is longer than the average Joe's. For this reason, you need to find a way to cut it down to size. Here are a few tips on how to do it:

Rule #1 - Pop your collar
Wearing your collar popped up is a re-emerging style and great for any LND sufferer. It will help cover up a portion of your neck and make it look shorter. So raise up your collar or buy a top with a high one.

Rule #2 - Wear neck accessories
Scarves,necklaces and chains work well with LND sufferers. Besides accentuating your outfit, they can give you the illusion of having a shorter neck. The trick is to wear them in a way that covers a portion of your neck. So, with scarves, do a back-to-front tie. With necklaces, buy chokers.

Rule #3 - Layer your collar-less tops
If you enjoy v-neck tops, don't avoid them just because you have LND. Instead, wear a jacket or shirt with a collar over them. This will lessen the long look of your neck and still allow you to wear your favorite clothing.

These are the rules for LND sufferers. Now, you SND folks can quit e-mailing me and complaining about that particular blog, especially you Mr. DeVito. I know you aren't the only man in the world with a short neck, and other folks, like me, have problems too. Hopefully, this blog will make you leave me alone and get back to making more funny movies.

I used to think the only people with big stomachs were either overweight or old, but then the cut-off tops and low-riding pants came back in style. This new trend allowed me to see that a woman who's a size five can have both a belly full of stretch marks and or a gut. It's an unflattering look, to say the least, and worst of all - it's unnecessary. Why? A common flaw like a big stomach can be easily covered by the right kind of clothing.

Any woman struggling with a belly can minimize it with clothing. And no, I am not talking about a series of long, baggy shirts. There are certain types of tops, bottoms and dresses that minimize or even hide a belly. Here are a few you should look for:

• Wrap tops: The diagonal shape of the tie on these tops slim down your middle.
• Corset dresses: The band on these dresses give a big stomach definition and also pushes it in.
• Mid-waist pants: The height of the waist band covers a big belly and pulls it in.
• Tunic shirts and blouses: The length of a tunic will cover a large belly in a stylish way.

These four items are a girl's best friend if she is struggling with her stomach. They all flatter and minimize the stomach area. So, don't worry about signing up for that gym membership just yet. You can do it like everyone else in the new year. For now, just go on a shopping spree and pick out a few items that will flatten your stomach without any extra sweat.

Okay. You just got your invitation to the office holiday party. So now you are wondering what to wear. Good. At least you are thinking about it. But before you reach for that super, mini cocktail dress or glow in the dark suspenders, stop and think about it. What you wear at the holiday office party can affect your career - positively or negatively.

A holiday office party is just like the prom. The next day, everyone is talking about it. What's at the top of the food chain? Who looked fantastic and who looked a mess. Unfortunately, if you happen to fit into the latter category, your sense of judgment will be under question. Your co-workers and boss will wonder what made you think a low-plunging, 1960s, pink taffeta dress would look good on you or why you wore MC Hammer pants to a class event. So, here are a few tips. They are ones that will help you pick out the right outfit for your office holiday party.

Appropriate Attire for a Fancy Holiday Party

• black slacks with a blouse or tailored shirt
• black skirt with a glitzy sweater (silver/red/white)
• cocktail dress that falls to the knees
• tuxedos (fitted by a tailor)

Appropriate Attire for a Casual Holiday Party

• Dockers with a shirt or tunic/wrap top
• classic cut jeans with a sweater
• cotton or blue jean skirt with a blouse
• designer sneakers, loafers and flats

"No-no's" for any Holiday Party

• plunging necklines that reveal breasts
• see-through clothing
• mini-skirts or dresses above the thigh
• jeans with holes or rips in them
• overalls or other labor-like clothing

These suggestions, of course, are just helpful guides on what to wear at your holiday function. If you have a holiday party with a goofy hat or sweater theme, you should go with the flow. However, if not, these suggestions are ones that will keep you safe and off the gossip train at work. So now all you have to worry about is saying the right thing to the boss' spouse and not spilling a drink all over yourself. You know - the usual things.

Remember Twiggy? In the 60's, she made having a stick-thin figure popular. As a result, women everywhere learned how to eat celery, fit into sweat pants and strap in all of their natural curves. It explains the painful look on some of those old pictures of your grandma. Thankfully, this trend faded away, and now you rarely hear about Twiggy except in old movies or on America's Top Model. Yet this icon must be given credit for leaving behind a legacy that can still help women today. What is it? Twiggy taught us all how women with boyish figures should dress.

Let's face it. Our DNA has more to do with our hip size than we'd like to think. For this reason, if you have a boyish figure - one that is slight and lacks curves - you can't do much about it. I don't care how many hotdogs and fattening shakes you consume. So, it's best just to wear clothes that accentuate your form and help you look good. Here are a few tips.

Add curves by . . .

• wearing patterns like plaids, tweeds and polka dots.

• dressing in ruffles that add curves and shape to your body.

• adding voluminous trapeze dresses and baby doll dresses.

Flaunt your own natural curves by . . .

• rocking pencil skirts that give you hips.

• flaunting straight-legged jeans that thicken your thighs.

• falling in love with spaghetti straps that show off your neckline and shoulders.

These clothing items are just a few that can help add curves and dimension to a boyish figure. They are an instant fix for a gal who would look like a teenage boy if she threw on a pair of overalls and a baseball cap. Since you don't want to be her, wear these suggested clothing items. They will make you look great and more feminine.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. And why wouldn't it? In prime form, an apple is red, juicy, crunchy and delectable. I believe these are the main reasons an apple tempted Adam in the story of the "Garden of Eden." After all, nobody would believe that a guy would get all worked up over a kumquat. Yet, even when it comes to apples, there is a dark side. Women with apple shapes rarely see it as a plus.

Women with apple shapes start off small and skinny at the bottom and grow larger as you move up their bodies. This fact is true regardless of size. As a result, their biggest issue is finding a way to balance out their bodies. The good news: there are several ways to do it.

Apple-shaped women can create an illusion of balance by wearing certain kinds of clothes. These clothes are ones that elongate the neck, minimize the bust, create a waist or widen the leg area. Here are a few suggestions:

Flared skirts
Wrap dresses and tops
Wide-legged or normal jeans
Wide-legged or normal slacks
Fitted blouses and boat necks
Long-lapelled jackets
V-neck sweaters

These items are the kinds of clothing that accentuate the bodies of apple-shaped women. As you can see, most of them are classic clothes. You know the kind of clothes that rarely go out of style and translate through time. You can easily find them in any department store.

All of this talk about apples is making me hungry. The last time I looked, they were on sale. You can get an apple for fifty cents! And the best thing is that you don't have to make a deal with the devil to do it.

When I was a teen, people used to call me Wonder Woman. Why? I was so tall that I towered over almost every kid my age. Of course, at the time, I didn't like it. I wanted to fit in. Fortunately, I got over it as I aged, but the only thing that still bothers me is finding clothes.

Tops, pants, skirts and stockings tend to come up short when it comes to tall women, because fashion designers make clothes to fit the average-sized gal. If you happen to be a few inches taller than most females, you're out of luck. As a result, you have to look for certain things when you buy clothes. Here's what to watch for:

• Pants and skirts with the words "tall" on the tags. They are specially designed to fit people with longer legs or torsos.

• Stockings with the words "queen" on them. Even if you aren't queen-sized, the leg room with cover all of your legs.

• Tops that fall to the waist or below. A current trend that is great for tall people is tunics. They are sure to cover all of your middle area so when you reach up at work, no one will see your stomach area.

These kinds of clothing fit tall women best because they hang well on a long body. It's basically what I've figured out through the years. Pretty good for girl who was once associated with a woman running around in a bright bathing suit.

Have you been watching Dancing With The Stars? If not, you are missing one of the best seasons. Why? It has the oldest star on it. Who? 82-year-old Cloris Leachman.

Cloris Leachman is unpredictable, funny and a little cranky. You never know what she'll say or do. Of course, it all makes for good TV. However, what I love most about Cloris Leachman is her style.

Like many women over the age of 45, Cloris Leachman has the belly pooch and extra hips. Yet neither one of these curbs her style. She dresses glamorously anyway, showing every woman with a similar body type and age how to do it. Here's how she pulls it off.

Cloris Leachman:

• Wears solids - Yes, she may have an elaborate headpiece or silk material, but it's normally one color. By wearing solid colors, her hips and stomach look a lot smaller.

• Flaunts cleavage - Cloris Leachman has beautiful breasts. So her dresses on Dancing With The Stars normally have v-necks that show her cleavage. By playing up one of her best features, it detracts from her less attractive ones.

• Switches hairstyles - Leachman has a great haircut that she isn't afraid to cover up with a wig in the name of style. It gives her a flexible look. Leachman's hairstyles complete the outfits she wears on the show.

In a nutshell, Cloris Leachman doesn't let her age or body shape stop her from being stylish. She is bigger than life. So take a peek at Dancing With The Stars the next time is comes on TV. You'll be surprised to see that an 82-year-old is stealing the entire show.

"I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face . . ."

• Rapper Sirmixalot

Are you struggling with a badonkadonk? The junk in your trunk is so full that there is barely room for it in a pair of jeans? Your booty is so high that you could put a saucer and teacup on it without spilling a drop? Of course, in some circumstances, it can come in handy. You never have any trouble getting a free bag of apples from the old man at the fruit stand. But, in other situations, it's a deficit. When you want to come across as wholesome, serious and business-like, some people refuse to take you seriously. They can't seem to get their mind off of you or your backside. So you need a few solutions.

The two most obvious solutions to anyone dealing with a large posterior is to cover it up or minimize it. This feat can be accomplished in several ways. All are fashionable and won't completely lose your lovely shape. They are as follows:

(Cover-ups)
Long Sweaters
Thigh-length Jackets
Shapely Tunics
Colorful ponchos

(Minimizers)
Pocket-less Jeans/Slacks
Black/Beige Spanx
Flowing Skirts

These items can work for any woman who's trying to tone down her backside. It will help take the focus of attention off that area when you are in more conservative settings. Of course, you an always ignore these fashion tips when you want to strut your stuff. You know - like when you're at a good club, wearing an outfit designed to flaunt every curve and Sirmixalot hits the airwaves. Then, you dance with your boyfriend or husband like it's the early 90's when the song was first released. It's a time in which shaking your badonkadonk is appropriate, fun and able to get you the attention from the one person you really want it from.

So you may not have been blessed in the neck department, but don't worry, there is a cure for SND "Short Neck Disease", and that's fashion. Here's the how to and what to wear for those of you whos necks may not be like that of a gazelle.

SND is a disease that tends to strike people of smaller stature more than their taller counterparts. Unfortunately, its effects can be devastating. Hunched up shoulders. Awkward hanging neckwear. Missing necks during sweater season. It all contributes to an unfashionable look and posture that reflects poorly on a person suffering with a short neck. However, there is good news. SND can be managed quit easily by following a few fashion rules.

Rule #1 - SND sufferers should practice good posture.
Good posture is a part of fashion. (Ask any model.) People with short necks should stand up straight and hold their shoulders back. It will relieve them of the hunched shoulders. Plus, their clothes will hang better.

Rule #2 - SND sufferers should adjust neckwear to fit their neck.
Necklaces or chains should fall at least an inch and half below the base of the neck line. Fashionable scarves should be thin and tied in a way that exposes the neck. (Think of a very loose, enlightened tie.) Also, chokers and other neckwear that emphasizes the shortness of the neck should be avoided by people living with SND.

Rule #3 - SND sufferers should wear tops with open necklines.
Scoop neck and V-neck tops are great choices. Blouses or shirts should be unbuttoned by at least two. Turtlenecks should be avoided and other tops that cover the neck. By keeping the neckline open, short necks will not be cut off or completely hidden.

So you see, individuals who struggle with SND can manage it well by following a few rules. These rules will elongate their neck and help everyone miss the fact that it is so short. As a matter of fact, most people won't even notice that the person is suffering from SND. All they will see is good fashion.